Lessons for Coping from Matthew 26

Matthew 26:36–46 (CSB)

36 Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he told the disciples, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” 37 Taking along Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 He said to them, “I am deeply grieved to the point of death. Remain here and stay awake with me.” 39 Going a little farther, he fell facedown and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” 40 Then he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. He asked Peter, “So, couldn’t you stay awake with me one hour? 41 Stay awake and pray, so that you won’t enter into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” 42 Again, a second time, he went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.” 43 And he came again and found them sleeping, because they could not keep their eyes open. 44 After leaving them, he went away again and prayed a third time, saying the same thing once more. 45 Then he came to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? See, the time is near. The Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. 46 Get up; let’s go. See, my betrayer is near.”

Our ultimate model for anything including good mental health is Jesus Christ. There are several mental health lessons to be found in these verses:

It is ok to be emotionally distressed.

Jesus was sorrowful and troubled, deeply grieved to the point of death. This is not a description of mild unhappiness but intense distress. We see the human side of Jesus in these descriptions. The Bible normalizes our human emotions in these verses and in Ecclesiastes 3. The philosophy filled rock group, The Byrds, turned these verses into a hit in the 60s, Turn Turn Turn.

In my mental health practice, I saw some Christians question their faith during emotional crisis rather than turn to it. The Psalms are filled with emotional distress and pleading with God for relief. Acknowledgement of emotions is often the beginning of the change process, specifically turning to God rather than the circumstance.

You talk to a few close friends about personal matters, not the whole world.

Notice Jesus took 3 of His disciples deeper into the garden, not the entire group. He shared with them how distressed He was. Be careful sharing everything with everyone. The more people you share with, the greater chance your confidence will be betrayed. Find a few close friends you can trust and share with them. There is relief sharing with others. We need alone time, but we need community time as well, especially during times of grief and distress.

Even those who care about you will let you down. You can only count on the presence of God.

We are all human and fallible (Romans 3:23). Even those who care about you will let you down sometimes. Avoid letting this exacerbate your crisis, by not expecting it. There will be those who will be there and others may have their own issues going on and unavailable. Just like the disciples, good intentions do not always lead to good application. Remember times where you intended to do something caring for someone and never got around to it. For followers of Christ, we know the presence of God is with us.

When we are praying and focused on God it is easier to avoid temptation.

Jesus begged God to bring relief by changing the situation (Verses 39,42). He added, “Yet not as I will, but as you will.” In verse 46 he tells the disciples it is time to go. Jesus focused on God in a situation he did not want to be in. He was honest with God, but he accepted God’s plan was to be done. Jesus leaves the garden knowing he is headed to His death and temporary separation from God. He went on to complete His mission.

It is ok to beg God to remove negative things from your life, but sometimes that will not happen.

Warning, there are two traps to be aware of as a follower of Christ concerning emotions. The trap some Christians promote is you must have done something to offend God, or your faith is not strong enough if things are not well in your life. The unrealistic implication is that if your relationship with God is right then nothing bad will happen. The other trap is if something bad happens then my faith should be strong enough that I will not experience negative emotions. We see in these verses neither is true. Jesus was perfect with the Father and bad things happened. He begged God to spare him the upcoming circumstances. He was very distressed about those events. Sometimes bad things are the consequences of our sins, but we live in a fallen deteriorating world, so things are going to go wrong even when we have confessed our sin, and we are seeking the Lord.

When bad things happen and we are upset pray, talk with others, continue to do what you believe God wants you to do.

Jesus acknowledges his distress. He shares this grief with a few close friends. He prays to the Father. He begs to be spared from the coming pain. He recognizes the Father’s ways are better than his, so he surrenders and goes to be arrested and crucified.